siempresente

 

That's it!

240km in two days
Lille > Boulogne-sur-mer > Lille

Everytime I'm on the bike, I feel the freedom and gratitude in their utmost level.
It's like a prayer, like a meditation. It's the space where one never feels lost inside.
the place where you HAVE to face your fears, where you HAVE to protect your body and soul for survival reasons and that comes that naturally, that spontaneously... as if it has always been like that.
As if it has always been the only mechanism you know treating yourself. 

It's definitely to me, one of the most beautiful solitaria & collectiva activity. 

i openly confess my love and my respect to the experiences bicycle can offer to a human THOUGH,
I know more than ever before that a bike trip (or a trip) does not bring you all the happiness one needs. 
Certainly, it can make you discover skills and faces of yourself or realize things and pour light to hidden corners of your soul, but I know that...
 real change, comes from within.

The bike trip is maybe just the ticket to get to your a version of yourself that knows where to look for happiness, not the destination itselft.
Maybe tomorrow something will happen and I'll no more be able to cycle. 
Injuries can happen...
like the painful one I had last year.

I can cross 10.000 or more kilometers, meet people, learn about other cultures,
 but if I do not connect with my own peace in the siempresente
if I don't fight my demons,
my fears or guiltiness steming from my choices living far from the people I love most in life,
if I cannot provide a shelter to that girl and
if I cannot acknowledge and forgive me for my weaknesses and ACT to give me solutions, (problem > solution)
if I cannot realize and feel by myself the bless I have to breath, to have legs that can make these two bike wheels move, to have survived from depression once and twice,
if I cannot see the braveness to have loved and offered my energy, my songs, my paintings and my colours with all my heart to someone that was not interested to receive them rejecting them or ignoring and still finding the courage to feel again, to give again...

then i'll never be able to take and bear the responsibility of my own happiness.
I will risk ending up more disappointed than before in this notorious "pursuit of happiness"
remain frozen, when I'm supposed to be water and flow.
feel withered, when I'm supposed to combine "carpe diem" & "amor fati" to blossom.